The "S" Factor: Changing from a Superwoman to a Superstar

A couple of months ago I had an epiphany and then with an excited and energetic assurance, I shared unabashedly with a friend and colleague, “I’m a Superstar!”

Does that sound egotistical? It’s not.

A little while back I wrote in an article about our need as women to change our “S” factor from Superwoman to Superstar, understanding that what makes us so special is the essence of who we are vs. what we do.

When you think of a Superwoman you think in terms of what a woman does. Take Superman for example. Superman is best known for what he can do --- leap tall buildings in a single bound, fight off evil, protect citizens, so on and so forth. Well, I don’t know about you but I haven’t leaped any tall buildings lately. Obstacles yes, but even in doing so I have managed to stay on the ground. But when it comes to looking at Superman’s character and persona, we have to refer back to Clark Kent, his alter ego, the truer self.

The differences are clear. A Superwoman does. A Superstar is. A Superwoman always wants to please others. A Superstar is pleased with herself. A Superwoman wants to rescue every person and situation. A Superstar understands the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer. A Superwoman leaps to do everything. A Superstar listens and responds when needed. A Superwoman is always there when needed. A Superstar understands her limitations. A Superwoman basks in the limelight, while a Superstar “lets her light shine.” A Superstar is not at all egotistical, but someone that understands who she is and then does what she does because of it.

I spend one day out of the week at an adult day health program for elderly and disabled seniors. Now I’m not at all new to the world of volunteerism. I’ve volunteered all my life, but only recently began to work with this program and with seniors. I love it! It’s one of the brightest parts of my week. I was listening to Suze Orman speak once as she spoke about women and volunteering. She was making a point about the difference in men and women when it comes to how we conduct ourselves. She shared that she’d never been to a meeting with a mostly male audience where she heard anyone say to them “you should be volunteering”. Whereas, at the numerous women’s events she’d attended the topic of women volunteering their time was almost always a topic. Her point was not that volunteering is a bad thing or not a good use of time, but rather the distinction in how men and women think when it comes to what they should be doing. It was a valid point that made a lot of sense. Why should women feel like they have to volunteer? On the other hand why should men feel less inclined to do so? I get it. But as I reflect on the volunteer work I’m doing and have done in the past, it’s not at all about what I’m doing as a volunteer, but more about who I am ---- giving, compassionate, energetic and people oriented.

Just a really quick story about how I became involved with the program. It had been strong in my spirit to work with seniors, something I’d never done before or had an interest in. My mom suggested that perhaps it’s because they (my parents) are getting older. Makes sense to me. Well, one day I was doing some work at the local library. I looked out the window and I saw the same group of seniors I’m working with now. When I saw them, they were outside and something tugged in my heart. There was a volunteer working with them that day. She sat with them but to the side, she smiled but she wasn’t interacting with the seniors. The only thing I could think was, “Why isn’t she talking to them?” That was the day I decided I had to get involved. Now when I go in to volunteer I truly feel like a Superstar. Everyone is so excited to see me, both staff and seniors. Outside of the time I spend at the center with the seniors, I also assist with the program’s marketing and PR efforts. The staff tells me that the seniors love it when I come because I’m so energetic and really liven the place up. Even with all that, I want to reiterate, it’s not about the doing, and it’s not even about the feeling, but it’s about the part of me that purposes to make an impact on people --- whoever they are.

In another example, I’ve committed myself to blogging. Outside of the fact that it’s now one of the most popular business trends when it comes to Internet marketing, for me it’s a compelling tool that allows me to be a Superstar. I love to write, create and express myself. Although, I’ve authored a book, Sipping Tea and Doing Business, the world of blogging has offered me a new outlet for expression. I get to write when I want to write, how I want to write and about what I want to write, and although my goal is to certainly incorporate it into my overall business strategy and to see it increase revenue, I’ll do it anyway because it allows me to be who I am (creative and expressive) and do what I do, write (a gift, in my opinion that I’ve been underutilizing).

I could go on, but you get the point. And if you don't, here it is: You don’t have to be the hero of the day by trying to do it all. You’ll understand this better by understanding the tools that you need. A Superhero(woman) needs supernatural powers, a Superstar only needs her light. If you’re feeling a little de-powered and are struggling with the S Factor, here are some simple guidelines for moving from a Superwoman to becoming your own Superstar:

Stop Doing and Start Being: Ask yourself this simple question: Am I so busy because I’m being who I am or am I so busy because I’m trying to be someone else?

Listen to your Inner Voice: I spoke of how my desire to work with seniors was in my spirit. That urge and need to be a part of their lives was something that tugged on my heart until I made it a reality. That’s what you call your inner voice.

Release yourself of all your Superwoman Duties: Say “no” to everything that you’re doing just because, then . . .

Let Your Light Shine and start doing those things that are tugging on your heart and then watch yourself become truly supernatural.